OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
