Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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