I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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