At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
