U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
