He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
