AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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