shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
