no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
