can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
There are leaves in my underwear?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
