If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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