Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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