So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i think i have two assholes
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
