I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
