Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
