You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
