I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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