Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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