i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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