Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize