it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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