She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
