talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize