We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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