right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize