I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
