just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
