I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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