I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize