i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
