Is it normal to miss your booty call?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
