There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
