she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
