I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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