Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This is my gift to your gina
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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