ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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