So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
