literally had 100 drinks last night.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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