White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
