i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize