Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
