Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
