words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
