So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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