You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
