Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
