She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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