Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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