You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
