Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
