Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
