Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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