So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
