I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize