You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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