I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
