Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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