I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
