Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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