i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
