I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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