if you like me you must not know who I am
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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