Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
